It’s almost hard to believe how bad Passion Play is.  Aside from a rather amusing supporting performance by Bill Murray, every single other element of this film is at best disappointing, and at worst mind bogglingly bad.  Overly sentimental, weirder than it needs to be, and completely unable to make you care about the central romance, this is a failure of epic proportions.  Mickey Rourke is completely wasted and Megan Fox is mostly there to just stare off into space.  This cast suggested at least an interesting film, but writer/director Mitch Glazer just manages to fail at every single level possible.  I’d almost say this is so poorly made that it has to be seen to be believed, but that wouldn’t be fair to other people.  I saw this so that you don’t have to.

A down on his luck trumpet player named Nate (Rourke) finds a chance at redemption when he stumbles upon a circus in the desert.  In it, he sees Lily (Fox), a literal angel.  It’s not every day that you see someone with wings, so despite the protests of her “owner” Sam (Rhys Ifans), Nate runs away with her.  This is Lily’s first shot at a real life, but Nate’s desperation leads him to make a deal with a gangster named Happy (Murray) to share the management of her.  Happy decides to keep her all for himself though, sending Nate spiraling downward (of course, they were falling in love) in despair.  Despite the knowledge that Happy will kill him, or perhaps both of them, Nat can’t resist trying to save Lily.  Trust me; it’s just as preposterous as it sounds.

I think that Mickey Rourke gave one of the best performances of all time in The Wrestler, and apparently Glazer thought so as well, since his directions for Rourke pretty much seem to be “try and do an impersonation of yourself in that movie”.  Ironically, it’s a passion-less performance, and it shows.  Rourke’s not out and out bad, but he’s clearly bored and the terrible lines he’s given to read don’t exactly help himself out.  He’s luckier than Megan Fox though, who has absolutely nothing to do.  I still contend that in the right role she can be a decent actress, but here she’s almost as lifeless as in the Transformers films.  Luckily, Bill Murray is having a fun time as the gangster controlling all that he sees, and he manages to prevent this film from being absolutely worthless.  Kelly Lynch and Rory Cochrane have small supporting roles, and luckily for them they aren’t there too long.  Their embarrassment is limited…

Mitch Glazer was trying to get at something with this flick, which he aimed to make for a rather long time.  The thing is, I have no clue what the hell it is that he’s aiming for.  He bungles any attempts at emotion, and I had to stifle laughter on more than one occasion.   It’s hard to believe that a filmmaker could make this many errors during one shoot.  The production values are shoddy, the script is half-baked, the actors are left hanging out to dry, and the entire film almost feels like a parody of itself.  Glazer has written competent screenplays before, but this suggests that a brighter future is definitely not ahead for him.

Overall, Passion Play is easily one of the worst films of 2011 so far.  Aside from the enjoyment I got from Murray’s supporting performance, this was a painful viewing experience.  I can’t think of one reason why anyone would be willing to subject themselves to this movie.  The flick fails 99.99999% of the time, and that’s something pretty hard to do.  I hope this is the worst thing I end up seeing all year, because if it’s not…then the film I’ve yet to see is one for the Hall of Shame ages.

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