The season finale of “Game of Thrones” finally brought every major player into the war between the living and the dead; sometimes for the worse, for those who’ve been barely hanging on all season. However, a few Stark siblings finally make peace with one another in the calm before the winter storms. Also, wight dragons spit…blue fire? Here’s everything that happened during the Season 7 finale. If you hear some faint yelling, it’s just me, internally screaming about this episode.
War Prep at King’s Landing (Just in Case)
The episode opens on Bronn preparing King’s Landing for the arrival of the Northerners and Daenery’s army of the Unsullied, Dothraki, and dragon-sons. He and Jaime, the sole living commanders from the Battle at Highgarden, look worried and forlorn as they stare down at the sea of screaming Dothraki and deadly silent Unsullied. The pair makes small talk about the Unsullied and the worth of one’s life after castration, but it’s clear their minds are on a rocky day ahead of them.
A Meeting of Friends and Enemies (Sometimes Both)
Bronn meets Daenery’s contingent of advisors and a few select Dothraki guards (though Daenerys isn’t among them). As the group warily walks to the negotiation site– the old Targaryen dragon pit– characters pair off to greet old friends and enemies.
The Hound and Brienne of Tarth have a co-parenting meeting about their charge Arya, and both seem to acknowledge that they’ve tried their best with the young Stark daughter. Podrick, Bronn and Tyrion also walk in together, with Tyrion making another offer for Bronn’s royalty before they reach the dragon pit. Bronn brushes him off, but the man might be wise to switch sides and get off of Cersei’s sinking ship while he can. However, Bronn does go off with Podrick “for a drink” during the negotiations, after the pair look to Brienne for permission. Perhaps he’s making some secret deal we’ll find out about next season?
All Hail The Mother of Dragons
In the biggest power play of the negotiations, Daenerys rides in fashionably on Drogon, making everyone else wait for her. Though to be fair, if I had a dragon I would also ride it to all my meetings.
Daenerys daintily climbs off her dragon-son and sits down at her place, with Cersei clearly trying to hold back an eye roll at her theatrics.
To no one’s surprise, the negotiations go downhill at the first opportunity. The Hound confronts his re-animated brother The Mountain in an eery staredown, with The Hound hinting at killing his brother when the time is right.
Things get even nastier when Euron pipes up, threatening Theon and trying to goad him into submission by mentioning his captured sister, Yara. Tyrion deflects some of the heat from Theon, who looks like he’s about to fall apart. Everyone is a little horrified by this point, with Cersei even pulling back the psychotic Greyjoy so the negotiations could actually begin. Tyrion begins to give his spiel, which still doesn’t get the meeting back on track.
Look, We All Hate Each Other, But White Walkers Will Kill Us All
Jon Snow gets to the point, nodding to The Hound to fetch their captured wight. After a comedic unlocking of the wight’s box, The Hound kicks it open and the wight rushes for Cersei. The Hound jerks it back by a chain leash and chops it in half, then chops off a hand. The wight is undeterred by the loss of his appendages and continues to crawl around, trying to get at the people around him.
Qyburn, Cersei’s Dr. Frankenstein, seems fascinated by the creature, picking up the wriggling severed arm. He hands it to Jon Snow, who begins showing how to kill the wight like the star of an infomercial. After his demonstrated burning and quartering of the wight (buy this awesome dragon glass knife with three easy payments of $19.99!!!), Cersei is still shocked but willing to listen after the display. Euron Greyjoy, on the other hand, promptly leaves for the Iron Islands. He wants no part of the White Walkers. Yet another brave man falls…or, ya know, turns tail and runs.
Jon Snow is an Honorable Idiot
Cersei accepts Daenery’s truce, suitably horrified by the zombie that just tried to eat her face. Daenerys tactfully does not mention she could crush Cersei’s troops in a day. Everything finally seems to be coming together…
And theeeeen Jon Snow destroys the negotiations. Cersei tries to push her luck, saying she would only accept the truce if the North promised not to take sides between Daenerys and Cersei. Jon, always the honorable son of Ned Stark, instead reveals he’s already bent the knee to Daenerys. Everyone is shocked and suitably irritated by the brave-hearted idiot who can’t lie to save his own life. Cersei stomps off and everyone takes a turn reprimanding the beleaguered Jon, including Daenerys. Can’t you lie just the once, dude?
Lannister vs. Lannister
Tyrion heads into the castle, intent on speaking to his estranged sister. Jaime commiserates with his brother as he departs her rooms himself, after trying and failing to bring her back to the negotiating table. Tyrion heads into the lion’s den, where no love is lost between brother and sister. Cersei still blames Tyrion for the loss of her children, while Tyrion apologizes and notes he loved his niece and nephews dearly. He even offers his head to the seething queen, who can’t quite bring herself to kill him. After a quick cup of wine to bolster himself, Tyrion continues to nudge his sister back to the dragon pit. For her part, Cersei unwittingly reveals her pregnancy with Jaime’s child, to Tyrion’s shock. (As Cersei never gives away a secret, it’s more likely this is a ploy to be picked up in “Games of Thrones'” final season.)
Jon and Daenerys Talk Babies, Cersei Returns
Meanwhile, Daenery’s crew and Jon’s people idly wait for Tyrion’s return. Jon wanders around, picking up bits of old dragon skulls and trying not to draw anyone else’s ire. Daenerys comes over in a bid to calm her sulking boyfriend, and the pair continues dancing around each other’s feelings. Jon brings up Daenery’s confession to him, asking how she knew she can’t have human children. When Daenerys tells him about the witch who told her she was barren, Jon points out that the curse of an enemy isn’t exactly the best medical advice. Daenerys seems surprised, not having considered that possibility before. Is this a hint at future babies for the couple?
The lovebirds are cut off by the return of Tyrion and his sister’s retinue. She seems (hint, she SEEMS) ready to make amends, declaring she will send her troops to fight the White Walkers. Daenerys and Jon, having secured the troops they came for, quickly sail for Dragonstone to await the Lannister troops.
A Brotherly Heart to Heart; Theon Reclaims Himself
In the midst of battle preparations in Dragonstone, Theon seeks out Jon for a heart to heart. Theon is genuinely distraught over betraying his foster family in a failed play for power, which involved seizing Winterfell for himself and trying to kill Bran and Rickon.
Jon, for his part, seems to recognize that Theon has received more than enough punishment. Jon forgives his foster brother, though he can’t give him complete absolution for everything he’s done. Theon confesses his struggle for a personal identity; while he is biologically a Greyjoy, he was raised a Stark. Jon reminds him that Ned Stark was more of a father than his own, and tells him he does not have to choose sides. Theon Greyjoy is, and always has been, a Greyjoy AND a Stark. *cue tears*
Bolstered by Jon’s support, Theon seeks out his own contingent of Iron Islands men. Led by Theon’s uncle, the group attempts to desert him and find a new island to pillage while the others battle the White Walkers. When reminded that Yara banned the practice, Theon’s uncle brushes him off. Theon takes a stand for his sister and brawls with the mutineer. He takes hit after hit but refuses to give up as the bigger man pummels him. But when his uncle aims for his non-existent nuts, Theon gets the upper hand, turning the man’s face into raw meat. Theon takes back control of his men and renews the fight to rescue Yara, who’s still in the clutches of Euron.
The Stark Family Deals With a Rat
Back in Winterfell, Littlefinger continues to turn sister against sister. Sansa seems (again, SEEMS) worried about Jon’s radio silence and his allegiance to the Mother of Dragons. She also worries about the discovery of Arya’s role as a Faceless Man. Littlefinger stokes her fears, telling her to imagine the worst situations possible under the guise of a game. But has the man finally gone too far?
Finally, the tension at Winterfell comes to a head. Sansa, with Bran at her side, calls Arya into the Great Hall, where Stark bannermen and armed guards line the walls. Sansa begins an accusation of murder and treason, but in a classic blindside, Sansa lays it on Littlefinger, not Arya. The lord pleads with her as she reveals his murder of Lysa and his betrayal of Ned Stark back in King’s Landing. As Littlefinger falls to his knees, begging for his life and swearing his weird, creepy love for Sansa and her dead mother, Sansa hands down a death sentence. Arya promptly slits his throat with the blade meant for her brother, Bran, back in Season 1. Littlefinger bleeds out on the floor, his silver tongue thwarted by his slashed vocal chords.
Lannister vs. Lannister, Part 2
Jaime begins to direct Cersei’s army to the Wall, but his sister interrupts the proceedings, asking to speak to Jaime privately. She asks why he’s sending the men, to which Jaime basically responds “we gotta, zombies are real and we promised.” Cersei disagrees, revealing she’s lied to Jon and Daenerys. Jaime begins to argue with her, pointing out that whoever wins the war in the North will come to King’s Landing.
But Cersei’s had a secret plan all along; Euron’s cowardly departure at the dragon pit meeting was a ruse, and the Greyjoy is really sailing to the Iron Bank, who are deploying its army of mercenaries to fight for Cersei. Jaime is shocked by his sister’s disloyalty to Daenerys and Jon, along with the secret Cersei kept from him. The pair has an epic row turned breakup, with Cersei ordering her reanimated knight to kill Jaime. Her brother and baby daddy is nonplussed and leaves his sister for good. As the disillusioned knight rides away, snow begins to fall in King’s Landing, signaling the approach of the Night King.
Samwell and Bran Finally Put the Pieces Together; Jon and Daenerys Hook Up
Samwell arrives at Winterfell and heads for Bran Stark. The young three-eyed raven seems glad for a reunion for the first time all season, and the conversation quickly turns to their beloved friend and brother, Jon. The pair pool their knowledge of Jon’s ancestry, with Bran correctly guessing Jon’s heritage, but not his legitimacy. Gilly’s previously ignored rambling back at the Citadel strikes a chord with Samwell, who reveals Rhaeger Targaryen quietly divorced his first wife (taking full credit for Gilly’s find, by the way). Bran is shocked, and with a little prompting from Samwell, he journeys back through time to see Rhaeger’s legal, legitimate wedding to Lyanna Stark.
As Bran watches the wedding unfold, we are treated to a montage of Jon and Daenerys, who finally act on their feelings. As the pair make love, Bran reveals they are aunt and nephew, and Jon is the rightful heir to the Iron Throne, not Daenerys. His real name, whispered by a dying Lyanna to Ned Stark? Aegon Targaryen. Jon Snow was named after the most brutal Targaryen of them all.
But honestly, did they need to spoil that love scene with a full incest reveal? The “Game of Thrones” showrunners couldn’t do us this one solid?
Sisters at Peace
With Littlefinger gone after seven seasons of skulking and meddling, Sansa and Arya are free to speak to each other. The pair reminisces about their father and show each other some love, complimenting each other on their strength and skills. After weeks of the Stark sisters lashing out at each other, it’s refreshing to see the pair as sisters instead of enemies.
Wight Dragon Fire is Actually Blue
The White Walkers have made it to the Wall, where Beric and Tormund have been prepping for their arrival. What they couldn’t prepare for is a wight dragon, ridden by the dreaded Night King. The Wall is turned into a crumbling avalanche as the wight dragon aims blue fire (or ice? Looks like ice, acts like fire) at the Wall. As the hole in Westeros’ last defense spreads, the White Walkers begin their march into the North. Winter has finally come.