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Highs and Lows of the First Half of 2013

The 10 Worst Films of 2013 (so far)

movie fortythree1. Movie 43– Ugh. I know I keep repeating myself with this one, but it really is not only the worst movie of the year by far, but I feel like it’s among the worst ever made. That tweet I’m so proud of really is apt. I won’t share it again here, but if you go look at my review here you can find it. Still, the less said about this atrocity the better. I get angry just thinking about it.

2. Safe Haven– No film in 2013 to date has had a worse ending than this one, taking an already bad flick and making it just plain abysmal. Folks, I literally howled in the theater when the “twist” came about, that’s how bad it is (more evidence can be found in my review here). Nicolas Sparks must hate me, since he keeps writing things that turn into movies that make it on to this part of my mid year and year end lists. Alas…

3. The Hangover Part III– I never liked any of the films in this franchise, but the original looks like an absolute classic by comparison. A comedy devoid of jokes, I picked over this rotting carcass in a review here, but suffice to say…this is among the least funny flicks of 2013 so far. Only the “comedy” Movie 43 keeps it from being the worst.

4. To the Wonder– One day I might be willing to try and sit through Terrence Malick’s latest again to see if I’m missing something, but for now I just can’t see how anyone liked this masturbatory exercise by the filmmaker. Yes, it has a great score, but that’s literally it. Seriously. I tried to explain my disappointment in a review here.

5. Violet & Daisy– One of James Gandolfini’s final performances is unfortunately contained within this unoriginal hitman (or should I say hitgirl) flick. I recently reviewed it here, and while it’s not exactly an “awful” movie, it’s hardly a good one, that’s for sure.

6. You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet– I know I’m in the minority on this one, but I disliked this flick intensely back at the New York Film Festival. Maybe I just didn’t get it, but I was bored to tears. I’d say try it out for yourself, but I don’t want to run the risk of subjecting you all to that sort of boredom…

7. The ABC’s of Death– Put to shame by V/H/S, this horror anthology has a couple of inspired segments surrounded by over a dozen mediocre ones at best. That’s not a winning formula, as I discussed in a review here. It’s sabotaged by those bad vignettes more than it’s saved by the few good ones.

8. After Earth– Without ever being outright bad, this sci-fi flick manages to be about as forgettable as is humanly possible. My review here explains how surprisingly M. Night Shyamalan isn’t as much to blame for this dreck as he normally is, but he’s hardly without fault either. Can you believe that at this point Shyamalan is almost a lock to show up in a Bottom Ten list each time out now?

9. A Good Day to Die Hard– An actual Die Hard film in name only, this is really a severely mediocre action flick with a very bored Bruce Willis. I struggled to find anything to praise in my review here, and honestly I’m not sure if there is anything there. It’s only in existence because of money, and it shows.

10. Oz the Great and Powerful– Something this bright and colorful shouldn’t be this boring. I didn’t outright hate Sam Raimi’s prequel to The Wizard of Oz, but I found myself looking at my watch A LOT, and that’s never a good sign.

What do you think?

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Written by Joey Magidson

When he’s not obsessing over new Oscar predictions on a weekly basis, Joey is seeing between 300 and 350 movies a year. He views the best in order to properly analyze the awards race/season each year, but he also watches the worst for reasons he mostly sums up as "so you all don't have to". In his spare time, you can usually find him complaining about the Jets or the Mets. Still, he lives and dies by film. Joey's a voting member of the Broadcast Film Critics Association.

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Matthew P

I’m thrilled to find someone who shares my love of “The Place Beyond the Pines”. Often with movies that run 140 minutes, I feel they struggled to fill that time, but I loved every second of “Pines”. Looking forward to “The Spectacular Now” later this summer. Also enjoyed “Mud” quite a bit.

Also, I was a big fan of the underseen “The Sapphires” – breaks no new ground but very charming and entertaining. Saw “What Maisie Knew” at TIFF last Septemeber and thought it was beautifully done.

Johnny

Great piece Joey! As a huge fan of “(500)Days,” I’m anxiously awaiting “The Spectacular Now” and “Don Jon”

Stephen Jay

Thanks for the writeup, Joey. I enjoyed it. I was curious to see your Oscar predictions for this year – are they posted anywhere? All I could find were Clayton’s.

John Rivera

Here are my awards Best Picture Winner: This is The End Runner Up: The Place Beyond The Pines Best Director Winner: Derek Cianfrance – The Place Beyond The Pines Runner Up: Jeff Nichols – Mud Best Actor Winner: Leonardo Dicaprio – The Great Gatsby Runner up: Bradley Cooper – The Place Beyond The Pines Best Actress Winner: Rooney Mara – Side Effects Runner up: Olga Kurylenko – To The Wonder Best Supporting Actor Winner: Emory Cohen – The Place Beyond The Pines Runner Up: Zach Braff – Oz: The Great And Powerful Best Supporting Actress Winner: Eva Mendes – The… Read more »

Steve Glansberg

Very surprisingly, Spring Breakers is my favorite film of the year so far, as it was the complete opposite of what I expected. Kind of like with Killing Them Softly last year, I think there is a heck of a lot more going on in that movie than some detractors give credit for.

I’m definitely looking forward to most of the movies on your list, I just don’t know when I’ll get a chance to see them. Mark Johnson’s Cleveland seems way ahead of the times from where I live.

Jacob

I cannot wait for The Spectacular Now, it really does look fantastic. I think To the Wonder is by far the best movie of the year so far, but I also loved The Bling Ring, Pain and Gain, and Spring Breakers as well. So far, there hasn’t been a critical darling that I’ve completely agreed warranted the praise (Before Midnight, Stories we Tell didn’t live up to the filmmakers’ potential imo).

Ryan

I always find myself at a disadvantage during the first half of the year because I don’t have “access” to all of the great indie films that usually end up being my favorites by the end of the year. As of now, my favorite film of the year is 42, which, despite its financial and critical success, I still find to be largely underrated. Very impressed with the direction and the two lead performances. Its a familiar story, but an emotionally daring one. I also thought that G.I. Joe: Retaliation was downright the most horrendous movie I have seen in… Read more »

Dan

Thanks for your input!!! Ill check out the ones u like. Thanx

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