The 10 Worst Films of 2013 (so far)
1. Movie 43– Ugh. I know I keep repeating myself with this one, but it really is not only the worst movie of the year by far, but I feel like it’s among the worst ever made. That tweet I’m so proud of really is apt. I won’t share it again here, but if you go look at my review here you can find it. Still, the less said about this atrocity the better. I get angry just thinking about it.
2. Safe Haven– No film in 2013 to date has had a worse ending than this one, taking an already bad flick and making it just plain abysmal. Folks, I literally howled in the theater when the “twist” came about, that’s how bad it is (more evidence can be found in my review here). Nicolas Sparks must hate me, since he keeps writing things that turn into movies that make it on to this part of my mid year and year end lists. Alas…
3. The Hangover Part III– I never liked any of the films in this franchise, but the original looks like an absolute classic by comparison. A comedy devoid of jokes, I picked over this rotting carcass in a review here, but suffice to say…this is among the least funny flicks of 2013 so far. Only the “comedy” Movie 43 keeps it from being the worst.
4. To the Wonder– One day I might be willing to try and sit through Terrence Malick’s latest again to see if I’m missing something, but for now I just can’t see how anyone liked this masturbatory exercise by the filmmaker. Yes, it has a great score, but that’s literally it. Seriously. I tried to explain my disappointment in a review here.
5. Violet & Daisy– One of James Gandolfini’s final performances is unfortunately contained within this unoriginal hitman (or should I say hitgirl) flick. I recently reviewed it here, and while it’s not exactly an “awful” movie, it’s hardly a good one, that’s for sure.
6. You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet– I know I’m in the minority on this one, but I disliked this flick intensely back at the New York Film Festival. Maybe I just didn’t get it, but I was bored to tears. I’d say try it out for yourself, but I don’t want to run the risk of subjecting you all to that sort of boredom…
7. The ABC’s of Death– Put to shame by V/H/S, this horror anthology has a couple of inspired segments surrounded by over a dozen mediocre ones at best. That’s not a winning formula, as I discussed in a review here. It’s sabotaged by those bad vignettes more than it’s saved by the few good ones.
8. After Earth– Without ever being outright bad, this sci-fi flick manages to be about as forgettable as is humanly possible. My review here explains how surprisingly M. Night Shyamalan isn’t as much to blame for this dreck as he normally is, but he’s hardly without fault either. Can you believe that at this point Shyamalan is almost a lock to show up in a Bottom Ten list each time out now?
9. A Good Day to Die Hard– An actual Die Hard film in name only, this is really a severely mediocre action flick with a very bored Bruce Willis. I struggled to find anything to praise in my review here, and honestly I’m not sure if there is anything there. It’s only in existence because of money, and it shows.
10. Oz the Great and Powerful– Something this bright and colorful shouldn’t be this boring. I didn’t outright hate Sam Raimi’s prequel to The Wizard of Oz, but I found myself looking at my watch A LOT, and that’s never a good sign.