Hold on to your hats, folx, “Pose” is giving out pink slips and no one is safe. Sunday night’s episode “Pink Slip,” the seventh of an eight episode season, featured breakups and breakdowns as simmering issues boiled over. Blanca struggles over discipline problems with Papi and Elektra faces the music with her sugar daddy, while Stan continues to be the biggest softboy in NYC. Just how far from happiness will everyone fall by the end of Season 1? Here’s a quick recap of “Pink Slip,” just in case you missed it.
We begin in the peeling halls of House Evangelista, where Blanca’s children are rushing through their morning routines. In his haste, Papi leaves out his beeper (bet you haven’t seen one of those this millennium), which Blanca gets some seriously bad vibes from. What could Papi need a pager for? Papi rushes back into the apartment looking for his woefully outdated tech, where Blanca confronts him about the pager. You remember the rules: if you’re dealing drugs, you’re out on your ass. And BTW, why would you sell poison to your own people? Papi proceeds to lie his lil butt off, which Blanca doesn’t buy, but she lets him leave.
We cut to Mother Elektra in her sugar daddy’s apartment, where her boyfriend (aka, Ripped 80’s Stabler) has returned from a long business trip. Things quickly turn from sexy to depressing when Elektra’s decision to get SRS falls on angry ears. Ripped 80’s Stabler promptly breaks off their decades long relationship because she took away the one kink he asked of her, blah blah blah, he’s gross. Elektra, who’s clearly been living in a fantasy land where gross men actually evolve, tries to put on a brave front and goes back to House Abundance.
Turns out, House Abundance is about to be without an actual house (according to the eviction notice Candy and Lulu found). Elektra takes the abusive stepmother routine too far and Lulu stages a mutiny: just where will we live without sugar daddy’s money, Mother Dearest? And whatever happened to the Christmas cash? She, along with BFF Candy, lure the other Abundances away with promises of a new house without the evil queen. The pair christen their new family the House of…Ferocity? Veracity? Velocity? It’s a stupid name for a not so stupid house, but I digress.
We return to House Evangelista, where discord and distrust have taken over. Worried about Papi, Mother Evangelista grills the rest of House Evangelista. Angel and Damon manage to evade her questions, but Ricky’s nerves get the better of him. The former street kid, afraid that Blanca will kick him out, rats out Papi faster than an 8 year old running after the ice cream van.
Blanca promptly heads down to the pier to bust Papi, who gets more lines in one scene than he’s had this entire season. We find out that Papi has been living on the streets since he was 13 years old, and has developed some serious hustle. After all, what kind of job can a twenty-something get with an eighth grade education? So Papi’s been selling weed to stay alive and put food on the Evangelista table. Blanca goes full Tough Mom on him and lays down the law: get your sh*t out of my house. Papi cries and I cry with him, but Blanca’s not budging.
The pot reaaaaallllly boils over the following morning, when Papi is saying goodbye to his siblings. Papi confronts Ricky about snitching on him and the pair brawl it out in the family living room. Blanca finally her kids off of each other and shoves Papi out the door, who turns to the only home he has left: his dealer’s nightmare of a crack house. His dealer, concerned about waning weed sales, gives Papi some harder stuff and new turf to peddle his wares. Because Papi is a cinnamon roll who shouldn’t be selling crack in the first place, he gets arrested his first night out and narrowly avoids jail. I told you things take a turn this episode.
We should probably talk about Angel and Stan, because these fools are always in the middle of some fight or another. The pair, who’ve moved back in together at Stan’s “secret mistress” apartment, kiss and flirt over some disgusting TV dinners. Stan’s apparently getting divorced and working out a visitation schedule with Patty (“you’re a sh**ty husband but a good father, Stan”) and has even managed to keep his Wall Street job. Turns out brawling in the office earns some macho points, as does leaving your wife for the side chick. In an attempt to keep the romance going, Stan asks to “see Angel’s world” and come with her to the nightly ball, which sounds sweet (emphasis on “sounds”).
Happy that her boyfriend actually wants to go do something, Angel takes him to the ballroom, where the category is Alien Club Kid Realness. Stan freaks out over all the eyeballs and a cold reception from the audience, who pegs him as a potential sugar daddy, tourist, or both. Stan then proves to be exactly the kind of awkward whitebread softboy he’s always been.
On the walk home from the ball, where Angel earned yet another trophy (yay, Angel), Stan moans about how different their lives are and the bubble’s popped on their relationship, blah blah blah, while Angel tries to reassure him. Because Stan is a terrible person, he empties their apartment and leaves her crap behind in a trash bag, leaving her without a goodbye. Crushed by the loss but aware the money went with him, Angel slaps on some lip gloss and goes back to the street corner to pick up johns. Everything is sad again and I cry.
But Angel isn’t the only one grasping at straws: Elektra, now alone and about to be homeless, tries to go back to Rude 80’s Stabler, only to be shoved away by the doorman as Stabler’s new sugar baby sidles past into a nearby elevator. Not willing to give up her life as a kept woman, she tries to snag another sugar daddy. Turns out that a lot of creepy sugar daddies only want pre-op girls. Defeated, she turns to Angel’s seedy peep show gig, where she sadly dances for horny dudes with change.
Hoping there’s some silver lining to the end of “Pink Slip”? News flash: there’s not. House Evangelista has dissolved into infighting as the kids have Feels over Ricky’s betrayal of Papi. We get a short break from the sobfest when Blanca meets with Damon’s dance teacher, where have a Mom Talk kiki that changes Blanca’s thoughts on Papi. But Mother Evangelista may have lost her son for good, as Lulu and Candy begin poaching kids from other houses for their own House of…Ferocity? Philosophy? God their name is terrible. Either way, Papi is so hurt by Blanca’s rejection that he’s joined the Dark Side. Will Blanca ever get him back? Will Stan go right back to his old life? Will anyone give Angel a freakin’ hug? We’ll just have to wait and see.